We lived in two apartments before we bought our first house. One before I was too small to remember, but the apartment I remember had two bedrooms. One large for Momma and Daddy and one medium-sized for two girls who were sisters and best friends. A small kitchen with a little counter-top window, perfect for talking with Momma while she flipped pancakes Sunday mornings. And the living room with that big TV and our cozy couches and the big pillow. In the evening, after dinner was done and lounging was done and baths were done, two little girls were tucked into bed. And in that lateness of the evening, although I didn't really know Him at all, didn't really know He knew me, I talked to Him because something told me He was there. No one had ever really told me. I just knew it. Knew by the way Grandma prayed in her old Baptist church and on her knees at night before bed and again on her knees mornings before work. Knew by the way my heart hurt a little when someone used His Name in vain. Knew by the way the world was turning- knew it couldn't all be by some miraculous accident. So I talked to Him. I remember what I'd say, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, and if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. And God bless everyone up in heaven and everyone down on earth. And God, this is Latrice Nicole Hall. Maybe you don't know me, but I live at 999 Wood Road, Apartment #208. Please keep Momma and Daddy and Meah and Me safe, alive and well. Thank you. Amen."
And I always thought that was our beginning. Always started my story right then. When people would ask, how did you come to know the Lord? I'd say, when I was a child, I prayed to Him. I didn't learn about Jesus till I was 15 and didn't commit my life to the pursuit of God till then, but I always knew He was there.
Funny thing, though, lately memories have been rushing my mind like a flood. Moments I haven't thought about in years gently rocking on the surface of the pool of mind memories. And I think, I think He's saying He knew me long long long before I ever even thought about knowing Him. I think He's saying He's always known me. Even before the bunk beds and the counter-top window. Before the apartment I don't even remember. Before I was too young to even make memories, He was making them with me. Funny to think he knows when I got my first tooth, how long it took to break up into the surface of my gums. Funny to think He laughed and looked on as I learned how these legs worked, and fell and rose and fell again. Funny and crazy and wonderfully comforting to know all the memories He holds of us, from before my own Momma felt me kicking inside her womb. From before my own Daddy held me and beheld my little face. Funny, thinking of all the memories on this Memory Monday, that God has of me.
No need to tell Him who you are, or where you live, or what you need. No need to remind Him of the things going on in your life as if He isn't aware. No need to accuse, like Peter in boat tossed by wind and waves, that God sees your circumstances but deoesn't care. He already knows. Knows you. Always has. Always has had memories of you that you don't even have. Funny to think of, and so wonderful, too.
And I think, maybe what He would love, too, is for us to remember Him. Always. Every day and in every way. Remember the memory giver and maker and holder and protector.
AMEN!
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