My Daughter Needs a Lawyer

Look at this face.

Cute huh? Adorable even? You may even say, innocent looking.  You may say that. I know the truth.


Let me present the case:

The Crime:  Strawberry Theft

The Players:

The Suspect: "Tiny Tot"

The Pawn: "Innocent Infant"

The Cop: Simply "Momma" 

(not pictured, because, well, no one reads a blog to see pictures of moms)

The Scene:

It was an ordinary lunch time, 1200 hours on Tuesday, August 30th. Tiny Tot had ignored her sandwich and pretzels and devoured all of her strawberries, and then demanded more. Momma promised more strawberries when Tiny Tot ate the rest of her food. A tantrum ensued. (From Tiny Tot, of course.) No sandwich and pretzels were eaten, no strawberries rewarded.

The phone rings and wakes Innocent Infant.

Momma gets up from the table to answer the phone and then retrieves Innocent Infant from his car seat. She places him in his exersaucer with some cheerios to munch while she talks to her mom, all the while glancing at the angry toddler at the table. Tiny Tot's wheels are turning. She is plotting. Strategizing. Something within her snaps.

Distracted Momma doesn't see her get down from her chair.

A few minutes later, it's quiet in the house. Too quiet. Momma walks to the living room to find Tiny Tot sitting "innocently" on the couch. But something is amiss. She surveys the area. Tiny Tot? Check? Innocent Infant? Check. But what's that on his exersaucer tray...?

Strawberries. A lot of strawberries. Whole strawberries with tiny bites taken out of them.

Momma checks Innocent Infant's mouth but it contains only cheerios. After clearing away the strawberries, she then rushes to the kitchen to check the counter where she left the plastic container of strawberries, but it is gone. Then she spots it. In the trash can. Empty.

Walking back into the living room she notices Tiny Tot's eyes intently on her. She also notices she is chewing something and there is red dripping down her chin.

Guilty!

While Momma was distracted, angry Tiny Tot, tired of being denied strawberries, grabbed the container of strawberries down from the counter, took bites of all of them and then FRAMED Innocent Infant by leaving the strawberry remains on his exersaucer! She even disposed of the container! Criminal mastermind in the making.

Where did that land her? Behind bars.

2-4 years. She may get out on good behavior.