You have no idea

how much I love you.

Last night, we curled tight together on the tiny love seat and locked legs and squeezed middles tight. We had just finished a spontaneous spa time- soaked our feet in feet baths and clipped nails. You thought it'd be a good idea to sit in your bath and you were a smiling soaking mess by the time we were done.  I just kept thinking, "God has given me a daughter to share my world with. I am so blessed. I am so smitten with love."

And so, after our feet were dry and our clothes were dry, we cuddled close together on that tiny couch and held each other close and even sang that song you love: "This Little Light of Mine". And when I sing it with you, your smallish voice raising octaves in laughter and smiles, I can't help but think you are my little light, shining, beaming. You have no idea...

And we sat for a long time, long after your bed time, and we just held each other and talked about all the things important to you. And I gazed at this beautiful brown-eyed girl and wondered how so fast you became who you are now? I remember this little bundle, all 5 lbs. 8 ounces, wrapped in way more blankets than are needed in late April, bundled tight in a car seat, coming home. And I sat in the back with you staring at your every move, observing every breath, and wondered how I would ever again care about anything else in all the world. And your every move delighted and terrified me. You filled me with wonder.

And finally, last night, your little eyes started to droop and your voice grew quieter. "Mommy's tired." I whispered into your tiny ear. "Yeah, we're tired." You agreed. "Let's go to your room." You bargained. But I swept you up and took you to your room. Tucked my princess into bed after 4 books and prayers and more and more hugs. And my heart was so full I thought there'd never be a feeling in all the world that could replace this one. Never.

You have no idea how much. And that's okay. But baby girl, I love you. Always.

Love Mom.

Priceless Moments

It started as something on a whim. I helped the ten year-old clean his room and found a small dry erase board and a marker. When we'd finished and he ran downstairs I wrote on the board:

"You are wonderful. You are amazing. You are loved. I love you so much. Auntie Tricey (which is what he calls me)." And left it next to his bed.

He never said a thing about it. I didn't expect him to. Just hoped the message was received deep down into his being. Prayed and prayed he would hear it.

Then...today... A great day with some very not so great moments. I was on the receiving end of harsh, harsh words from someone whose feelings were hurt because of something I had decided. I stood by my decision, but those words. Those words racked me to the core. I was sad when the ten year-old came home from school so I explained to him, "Someone said very mean things to me today. It really hurt my feelings. There may be times in your life when someone does something like that to you. Remember to not say harsh things back at them, even if you really want to. Remember that you don't need to defend yourself. Remember to still honor God."

He looked thoughtful. Said he was sorry that happened. (He can be so mature at times.) Then we moved on with our busy afternoon...

At bedtime finally, I slip out of the infant's room and gather enough energy to change into my pajamas and get ready to plop onto the bed. But then I see it, on my pillow. The small dry erase board. A message written in ten-year-old pen:

"I love you auntie that you bless me. Roses are red, ice cream is cool and so are you! From Kameron to Auntie Tricey. Look on back"  So naturally, I looked on the back.

"Jesus loves you yes I know, for the Bible tells me so Auntie-O. Little ones come to Him, they are weak but He is strong- and so are you Auntie. Smiley Face."

Smiley face indeed.  What a way to end this day.

Great day, not so great moments, but other priceless ones.

Memory Monday: How I've Learned a Little What Love Is (Happy anniversary a few weeks late)

We were young. Oh my gosh we were young. You handsome and cool in that sweater vest I hated. Me all 20 and wild and carefree and a little wiser than I'd been a few years before.  You came, that night while I sat at the "Welcome" desk for Navigators. You came and you said you were looking for ways to get involved. And we smiled and talked casually. And yes, yes you tease me even now, I gave you my number. Best decision I'd made all year.

You called 8 days later, (maybe I counted) and we talked for two hours and it seemed we had more in common than not. I laughed, I remember, so so much. You were funny! You're still so funny.

That was August. August 2003. Babe, we've come a long way.

And we started "hanging" out. Coffee shops, movies, just getting together. We poured over each other's writing. We listened to Sade and Miles Davis and you enlightened me in music and I enlightened you in the art of cookie baking and my mad basketball skills. 

And in January you asked me, officially, you asked me "to go steady", because you're silly that way. And I said yes and by February knew I was in love. It was the best secret I'd ever kept because we promised we wouldn't say it till you put a shiny ring on my finger and promised to say it forever. 

And oh there were some bumps in the road- like former relationships and worries and what ifs. But we made it babe. Made it all the way to May of the next year when you, in front of our friends and our youth group and my mom, you got down on one knee and asked me that question. And you were so nervous you forgot to say I love you but I forgave you because you showed it, with that ring and with that knee bent, you showed it.

3 1/2 months later you proved it when you said "I do" on that day in August with the perfect weather and the handsome tuxedo and your hair cut just the way I like it. And I remember thinking, is this real? Is it really real? And you were. And you still are.

Man I love you. I can't believe the years that have gone by. Can't believe the way we've grown and melded and figured out just what love is (think we'll be figuring that out forever). Can't believe the things we used to fight about. Can't believe the things we've learned along the way.

You've given me happiness, hope, a safe haven, strong arms, wisdom beyond my years, 2 beautiful children, laughter, peace and more love than I know what to do with at times. You lead me, you love me. You are patient and collected when I am worried and fearing. You are calm when I am a tempest. 

I'm still right more than you are. :) 

Thanks for 6 years of marriage and 8 of knowing you. I would never dream of getting off this ride. 

Love you.

Yep- Family Dinners are Important

Statistics regarding family dinner time can be overwhelming! According to WebMD, studies have shown that many kids who eat dinner with their families get better grades in school, are more likely to avoid alcohol and drugs, and don't struggle with obesity. In addition, these children often tend to feel that their parents are proud of them, talk more and discuss serious problems, and experience less stress at home. 

Family dinner time isn't too challenging with little ones who aren't involved in extra curricular activities, but I can see how this will become more difficult as our children get older and have the opportunity to be do more things outside of the home! My 10-year-old nephew is staying with us for the school year and already we are seeing this time being threatened with upcoming basketball practices, school activities and even church activities! We have a firm stance right now that we will fight for dinners at home. Even if that means (gasp!) saying no to other activities that conflict with that!

So...I was browsing the internet searching for some ice-breaker games last week when I came across a dinner party planning site. The site had many ideas for throwing dinner parties, including Family Themed Dinner Nights. Intrigued, I clicked on the link and fell in love!  The site suggested having a themed family dinner some time and then showed several different theme ideas. Considering how I already felt about family dinners and also loving the idea of adding a bit flair of fun to an already great family tradition, I quickly set to work planning our family themed dinner. I chose Tuesday nights for family themed dinner nights as that is also our family game night. This first week (last night) was a surprise for all of the family except for my mom who I invited to join us and asked to use some of her decorations.  

I chose a 50's Diner Theme, so for dinner that night I made homemade cheese Runzas and circle fries, with fruit cups, and cookie bars and ice-cream for dessert. 

I used Pandora on my ipod to play some 50's themed music. And...

...before the kids got up from nap, (and after banning my nephew from the dining room) Mom and I hung some simple decorations...

And set the table.

 

I had a great centerpiece, but "Lil Mama" destroyed it two days ago. Oh well! 

We had a great time at dinner! Everyone loved the decor and the theme! 

And after dinner we all settled in to play some games! 

It was so much fun!

I love doing little things to show my family I love them and that spending time with them is the most important thing I do each day! What are some family traditions you have?

Next week- Fiesta Night!

WebMD article here!

My Daughter Needs a Lawyer

Look at this face.

Cute huh? Adorable even? You may even say, innocent looking.  You may say that. I know the truth.


Let me present the case:

The Crime:  Strawberry Theft

The Players:

The Suspect: "Tiny Tot"

The Pawn: "Innocent Infant"

The Cop: Simply "Momma" 

(not pictured, because, well, no one reads a blog to see pictures of moms)

The Scene:

It was an ordinary lunch time, 1200 hours on Tuesday, August 30th. Tiny Tot had ignored her sandwich and pretzels and devoured all of her strawberries, and then demanded more. Momma promised more strawberries when Tiny Tot ate the rest of her food. A tantrum ensued. (From Tiny Tot, of course.) No sandwich and pretzels were eaten, no strawberries rewarded.

The phone rings and wakes Innocent Infant.

Momma gets up from the table to answer the phone and then retrieves Innocent Infant from his car seat. She places him in his exersaucer with some cheerios to munch while she talks to her mom, all the while glancing at the angry toddler at the table. Tiny Tot's wheels are turning. She is plotting. Strategizing. Something within her snaps.

Distracted Momma doesn't see her get down from her chair.

A few minutes later, it's quiet in the house. Too quiet. Momma walks to the living room to find Tiny Tot sitting "innocently" on the couch. But something is amiss. She surveys the area. Tiny Tot? Check? Innocent Infant? Check. But what's that on his exersaucer tray...?

Strawberries. A lot of strawberries. Whole strawberries with tiny bites taken out of them.

Momma checks Innocent Infant's mouth but it contains only cheerios. After clearing away the strawberries, she then rushes to the kitchen to check the counter where she left the plastic container of strawberries, but it is gone. Then she spots it. In the trash can. Empty.

Walking back into the living room she notices Tiny Tot's eyes intently on her. She also notices she is chewing something and there is red dripping down her chin.

Guilty!

While Momma was distracted, angry Tiny Tot, tired of being denied strawberries, grabbed the container of strawberries down from the counter, took bites of all of them and then FRAMED Innocent Infant by leaving the strawberry remains on his exersaucer! She even disposed of the container! Criminal mastermind in the making.

Where did that land her? Behind bars.

2-4 years. She may get out on good behavior.

Memory Monday- How I Maybe Still Love to Play Cards

We sit across from each other at the breakfast nook table. I deal out cards as his feet dangle just above the floor. He had asked, after a game of Go Fish- "Do you know any other card games, Auntie?" I nodded, remembering.


Late evenings, two girls 29 months apart sit giggling on their bedroom floor. The older deals out cards and asks the younger, "Remember what you can put on a Jack? You always forget."

The younger smiles and says she remembers- readies her hand.

The older yells, "Go!" and they flip over their cards and laugh and squeal- "nine, ten, nine, eight, seven- no I was going to put mine there- too slow!"

There is a lull in the game as each surveys her hand. Both decide they can do nothing more and flip another card, more laughter ensues. During another lull, the younger stares intently at her cards and then up at her big sister. "Can I put an "A" on the Jack?" Her sister laughs softly, affectionately. "I told you you never remember. Nope, only a Queen or a 10." The younger frowns at her hand, but the older realizes a play and slaps down three more cards. "I win!" she yells triumphantly. "Let's play again!"

I finish dealing and stare at the sandy blond-haired boy before me. He looks like his dad but his smile is all his mom. That and his stubbornness and tender affection, too. 


"What's this game called, Auntie?" 


"Speed." I answer. The word gets caught in my throat. Why's it so hard to remember?


"Oooh, I don't know how to play, but I know it's gonna be fast!" He gets wide-eyed. Excited. Lord, he's so much like her, I say to Him Whom I know is ever-present. Help me keep it together, here.


I laugh and explain the rules. There are a few more than he'd like, but once we get going he laughs and declares he loves this game. I hesitate, then say,"Your mom and I used to play this all the time. She always beat me."


He smiles big, still so proud of her, I think. But then he announces, "I bet I could beat her." I smile at this competitive streak in him. He got that honest, too. 


"I don't know," I tease, "She was really really good!"


We sit in comfortable silence for a while. He thinking who knows what, and I...wishing for just a second for a chance to see that match-up and thousands more. 


Then- "Do you want to play again, Auntie?"


"Yep." I say finally. Thankful for this match-up right before me. 

When Words Do Flow

When words don't come I sit and doodle or think or trace the dated page over and over. I stare at the page and wonder.

It's a part of me. Writing. How I work things out, how I see things clearly. How I reach out or dig up or pile over.  But when words don't come I can't force them. They've a mind of their own and sometimes I think I'm just the vessel they use to make their voices heard. But I need them like water and I want to flow like it, too. Flow words like water. But when the tap is dry there is nothing I can do. Maybe.

But then, words are still a part of me, whether written or spoken or read or thought or heard. And so sometimes, when words don't come, I find myself thinking on them anyway. On the words I used with my husband or the cashier or my children. I think on the words I let myself take in through the t.v. or the radio or through the lips of a friend. I wonder on the tone I used to deliver them, the attitude I had to receive them, the motive I had before I said them.

I think, too, about His Words. How He promised that what He wanted them to achieve they would. Like water to the earth. (Isaiah 55:9-11) I think about how He is the Word, (John 1:1) and the power of Words. How they can build a person high or bring them crashing, falling, low. How they can fill and enrich or drain and destroy. How is a person after walking away from my words? How am I?

When words don't come, I take a moment and ask- what would people say, how would they feel, how might they live- when they do come? And if I can't say, with certainty, they would feel blessed, they would feel loved, they would feel uplifted, they would feel filled- well, then. If that is the case, then God take my words and transform them into something beautiful. Not for me but for your glory.

Unless words please the Lord there is no point at all in saying them, or typing them, or reading them, or hearing them, or thinking them.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer."Psalm 19:13-14

Let it be so...