You have no idea

how much I love you.

Last night, we curled tight together on the tiny love seat and locked legs and squeezed middles tight. We had just finished a spontaneous spa time- soaked our feet in feet baths and clipped nails. You thought it'd be a good idea to sit in your bath and you were a smiling soaking mess by the time we were done.  I just kept thinking, "God has given me a daughter to share my world with. I am so blessed. I am so smitten with love."

And so, after our feet were dry and our clothes were dry, we cuddled close together on that tiny couch and held each other close and even sang that song you love: "This Little Light of Mine". And when I sing it with you, your smallish voice raising octaves in laughter and smiles, I can't help but think you are my little light, shining, beaming. You have no idea...

And we sat for a long time, long after your bed time, and we just held each other and talked about all the things important to you. And I gazed at this beautiful brown-eyed girl and wondered how so fast you became who you are now? I remember this little bundle, all 5 lbs. 8 ounces, wrapped in way more blankets than are needed in late April, bundled tight in a car seat, coming home. And I sat in the back with you staring at your every move, observing every breath, and wondered how I would ever again care about anything else in all the world. And your every move delighted and terrified me. You filled me with wonder.

And finally, last night, your little eyes started to droop and your voice grew quieter. "Mommy's tired." I whispered into your tiny ear. "Yeah, we're tired." You agreed. "Let's go to your room." You bargained. But I swept you up and took you to your room. Tucked my princess into bed after 4 books and prayers and more and more hugs. And my heart was so full I thought there'd never be a feeling in all the world that could replace this one. Never.

You have no idea how much. And that's okay. But baby girl, I love you. Always.

Love Mom.

Priceless Moments

It started as something on a whim. I helped the ten year-old clean his room and found a small dry erase board and a marker. When we'd finished and he ran downstairs I wrote on the board:

"You are wonderful. You are amazing. You are loved. I love you so much. Auntie Tricey (which is what he calls me)." And left it next to his bed.

He never said a thing about it. I didn't expect him to. Just hoped the message was received deep down into his being. Prayed and prayed he would hear it.

Then...today... A great day with some very not so great moments. I was on the receiving end of harsh, harsh words from someone whose feelings were hurt because of something I had decided. I stood by my decision, but those words. Those words racked me to the core. I was sad when the ten year-old came home from school so I explained to him, "Someone said very mean things to me today. It really hurt my feelings. There may be times in your life when someone does something like that to you. Remember to not say harsh things back at them, even if you really want to. Remember that you don't need to defend yourself. Remember to still honor God."

He looked thoughtful. Said he was sorry that happened. (He can be so mature at times.) Then we moved on with our busy afternoon...

At bedtime finally, I slip out of the infant's room and gather enough energy to change into my pajamas and get ready to plop onto the bed. But then I see it, on my pillow. The small dry erase board. A message written in ten-year-old pen:

"I love you auntie that you bless me. Roses are red, ice cream is cool and so are you! From Kameron to Auntie Tricey. Look on back"  So naturally, I looked on the back.

"Jesus loves you yes I know, for the Bible tells me so Auntie-O. Little ones come to Him, they are weak but He is strong- and so are you Auntie. Smiley Face."

Smiley face indeed.  What a way to end this day.

Great day, not so great moments, but other priceless ones.