Our "We"

Things are still pretty slow moving around here just 3 weeks into welcoming home Little Baby Diva (LBD). *Appropriately named as she won't sleep at night unless being held. But she's cute, huh?

I just got around to putting away laundry I washed a week and a half ago. I finally vacuumed and dusted the living room. And my lounge pants are still my favorite article of clothing. I still have had no desire to go out on a family outing save to church and Target. And we are eating such simple, borderline junk food meals (except that they are homemade so that's better right?), that I am afraid my kids have forgotten what fresh veggies taste like. Such is the life of a mom with a newborn. We are mostly in hermit/survival mode. Except that, a couple weeks ago, when LBD was just less than a week old, we got an invitation to a birthday party for this past Friday that I RSPVed to right away. Even though I was tired, even though we had a newborn, even though I knew there was a high likelihood that the day of the party would come and I would be almost too exhausted to find something decent to wear and to get the kids dressed, I knew we were going. Because the invite was from a family in our community of friends that is more like family than friends to us.


We go to a church that we love. We've attended there for years, were engaged there (literally there because that's where Reuben proposed!), married there, and have raised our kids there as well. We adore it. But it is large. And growing. Each weekend we see different people and sometimes never our close friends who attend different service times. We are so thankful for our church, but also for what I feel is our "mini-church", which consists of a few families we have grown so close with, they are our family.

Friday night, we joined most of these families to celebrate the birthday of one of the boys in our group. I had been looking forward to it for some time and when we arrived I remember feeling joy and relief to be with people I loved so much. We ate great food and had great conversation. At one point, one of the two year-old boys in our group felt it important to demonstrate how he could spin around in a circle, (after his older brother demonstrated it first), and I felt strangely emotional when all of the adults in the room stopped what they were doing to watch this demonstration and then cheer wildly as if it was the most amazing thing we had ever seen. A smile covered the little guy's entire face and the adults were all smiling, too.

Why does that matter? Why feel emotional about that? (Yes, the post-pregnancy hormones could have played a role.) But truthfully, I felt overwhelmed to be part of a community of friends who will celebrate our children and lift them up. I know that they will walk with us and celebrate with us through every milestone my kids hit, and pray with us through every setback. I know I can trust them with my children's hearts and not be disappointed with how they treat them. That's the kind of community we've built together.

When Peanut had to meet with a specialist to determine the likelihood of her having the same disease that ended my sister's life, these are the people I called instantly to ask for prayer and to share my worries. These are ones who called on the day of the test to offer kind encouragement, who sent encouraging texts and left voicemails saying they were praying and who anxiously awaited the results and then rejoiced with us when we received good news. And these would have been the same people who would have carried us and prayed with us if we had received bad. These are the ones who have prayed with us in our home for our children or any other difficulty we've faced. The ones who bring meals when we need them or kind words or open arms.  They are family. Our kids have known each other for their entire lives and I foresee lifelong friendships. We share the same values and interests, but also bring our own cultures and life experiences to the group. We can laugh and joke but also be serious and truthful.

We're family and I love them.

And it didn't happen overnight. We went through that awkward get to know you stage, and then the, "I want to be friends, but how do we do that stage?", followed by the "Are we at the point where we can call just to say hi?" stage and then a number of building stages after that, landing us finally at the, "I'm so glad we are doing life together" stage. Wish I had a group picture to post but we're all usually running around at different times or someone is never happy with their hair (usually me). But, you know who you are. I love you.

And if you don't have a "we" yet. Please keep seeking. We all need a "we". Go through the awkward stages. Invite people over. Join a connect group at your church or find a place to get involved. Find your "we". Life is just sweeter with a "We".

Peanut in the center with a couple of her "We".