Inevitability

I got the chance to rock our 19 month old to sleep the other night.  I held her and rocked her and was surprised to feel my eyes filling with tears as I had this thought: these moments are numbered. I found myself remembering when her entire little body was no wider than my torso. She used to fit so perfectly within my arms, her sweet little brown eyes fixed on me, content to be held and kissed and snuggled. When she was that small I had a hard time believing she'd ever get bigger, ever grow up, ever be anything more than just my baby girl.

But days turned to months- 19 months to be exact. And that baby girl has changed. Her hair is lighter, her legs are longer, her brown eyes more alert and prepared to take in everything, her little body much longer and far more active. Sure there were signs: clothes stopped fitting, diaper and shoe sizes kept getting bigger. She rolled over, then crawled, then walked, then ran, then jumped and danced. And somewhere, in all of that, Inevitability took it's stance. She IS growing up. She IS.

And soon there will be days when rocking her to sleep is just a distant memory. When I will look her and find it hard to believe that she ever was a baby girl. There will be days when these moments feel so foreign to me I may think it was all just a sweet dream.

So I will take every moment I get right now to rock my little girl to sleep. I will give kisses and hugs and snuggles while they are still wanted, because I have a feeling she will grow out of them long before I ever could. And I will play dress up and chase, and I will instigate pillow fights on the living room floor, and I will be silly and snuggly and all that is in between. If these moments are numbered I want Every. Single. One.